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Wednesday, 01 April 2009

Tuesday, 07 October 2008

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaLM1-gxjqA

    I seem to have the worst timing when it comes to updating my blog. Right when midterms are around the corner, with much reading to do, and some to ponder about. Hmm. So I am on the third floor of the Gelman library in one of the stacks. My Chinese text book open in front of me, my Geography blackboard page tabbed underneath with some reading on pdf file, and my History textbooks shoved in the corner. I am to do most of those tonight...I even made a list in my planner--all color-coordinated and stuff. Sleep doesn't come.

    My laptop is the ultimate distraction. The subject of tonight's distraction was looking up random songs online. Oddly enough, I think tv shows have the best variety. Somehow I found a username that had all the background music of Gossip Girl (yes). I found good songs such as "Beautiful World" by Carolina Liar, "The Ice is Getting Thinner" by Death Cab for a Cutie, "Do You Wanna" by The Kooks, etc. But my favorite pick of the night is/was "Come Home" by One Republic. It has a Beatles-ish tune to it; it's also soothing and mellow. And that has been my mood in the library ever since.

    As I was youtubing it, I came across a cover made by a girl named Sarah Gonzalez. I know there possibly (probably) are better covers out there but I really like this one. I think she did as much of a good job as One Republic in the lady's version. Props to her. I wish I can sing as sweetly.

    My life has been weird so far. I don't know where it's taking me.
    But in the immediate future, New York City and/or Chi-town.


Tuesday, 23 September 2008

Sunday, 17 August 2008

  • when you say those things,
    when you do those things,
    i'm so not sure of the second time around.
    am i supposed to be ready?
    and are you done preparing.


Wednesday, 13 August 2008

  • After tormentingly being reminded of what you fail at, you start to believe that that is what you are good at. You see those obvious blemishes and you begin to understand that is how much you amount to and that is how much you will ever be. You begin to grow skittish to change because you feel like you will not be able to adapt...and once again fall on your face to realize your best, yet worst, abilities. I feel like this has been my summer. A constant reminder of what I did wrong, what I could have done, what I should have done, what I am to do. Yet the 'what I am to do' falls under the 'what I will do wrong again'. Despite my attempts to block it out, I feel like a worn teabag in stone cold tea. And I am once again left with my many wrongs than rights.

    It isn't fair.

    We are all attracted to talent. We are drawn to a person's abilities.
    I think it's maybe because the person truly shines when he/she what she likes/can do best. It makes the person who he/she is and when we do see that ability in him/her, we realize why we like that person so much. What is your talent? I do not have a talent. I am still looking for my talent. I will find my talent soon. These are typical responses from those who think they do not have anything. But how about, 'I am (still) developing my talent'? Is that the same response as the ones above? Everyone has a talent. A boy told me that he "wasn't good at anything" yet I found him to be a skilled skateboarder. Just because it doesn't look good on a college application or a job resume doesn't mean a person does not have talent. Talent distinguishes one person from another.

    I am developing my talent.

    I think I treat my heart as a sandbag sometimes. Not a doormat. A sandbag. A doormat welcomes people to step all over it, to let others wipe their feet clean before walking over them to promote their own lives. A sandbag welcomes the hardest of punches only to sway heavily side to side a little before returning to its original position and enduring that next punch. So there. I string you my heart by its heartstrings. I hurt, I allow myself to get hurt, and the vicious cycle repeats itself. I want to hold on to the people and things I have, yet I do not have the confidence to. I think this all relates to the 'talent' point.

    Despite my selfish shortcomings, I need you.


estrellamellamo

  • Visit estrellamellamo's Xanga Site
    • Name: smin
    • Member Since: 3/21/2005

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